Back

 

in the city that taught me longing,
I am across the student library,
where I spent a silent hour each day.

All nine floors of it smaller now, less wise,
as time does to every book and parent.
The credit card in my wallet

where my student ID used to be
with all the possible hollowness
of a filled space. Where air is,

surely, emptiness follows, whistling
the heart’s forgotten tunes like a flute.
That’s that. Empty. No true story

of how it was in my time. I just look
them in the eye—youthful strangers
entering the building, taking

their turn in the ride.
They’ve lined up long enough.
There’s the undecipherable magic

of schools: change
in small increments. Every season.
Every year. Soon enough we are

ghosts in the hall. The buildings and the professors
remain like historic terrain—mountains, valleys,
witnesses. And I say here I am, old institution, back

and answerless. Students walking
past. Here I am with the same cup ramen,
the same apple juice, speaking the language

of the habitual cigarette, on the same table
on which I first expected departure and longing
and undervalued their significance.

Here I am with my final report,
which is simple enough, on how it is
to be a little bit older and still learning,

a little more prepared to die.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s